Stalking Rodney
by Jedi Buttercup
Summary: B:tVS, SG-1, Atlantis. Buffy adjusts to life in Atlantis... and life in Atlantis adjusts to her. "Ugly Black Dress" vignettes .
1. Stalking Rodney

**Title**: Stalking Rodney 

**Author**: Jedi Buttercup

**Rating**: T

**Disclaimer**: The words are mine; the worlds are not. I claim nothing but the plot.

**Summary**: B:tVS, SG-1. Buffy's eyes twinkled, inviting him in on the joke, but Daniel still wasn't quite sure where she was going with this. 600 words.

**Spoilers**: B:tVS post-"Chosen". SG-1 and Atlantis through seasons 8/1, then AU.

**Notes**: A vignette in the "Ugly Black Dress" universe. See that story for details on the formation of this AU; the summary version is that Buffy, Daniel's girlfriend of two years or so, kept Vala from preventing his trip to Atlantis.

* * *

Daniel blinked in disbelief at the scene before him: his girlfriend, dressed all in black with her long blonde hair tucked up under a cap and a zat'nik'atel clutched in one hand, was pressed bodily against one of Atlantis' aesthetically pleasing corridor walls as she snuck a peek around the next corner.

"Buffy..." he said warily, not sure he wanted to know what she was up to. "What are you doing?"

"Stalking Rodney," she said matter-of-factly, glancing back over her shoulder to flash him a quick grin.

"...And why are you stalking Rodney?" he asked, thinking back quickly over the week's events. He didn't _think_ he remembered the other scientist doing anything in specific to set her off; they hadn't been teammates long, but McKay had already had a thorough education in Things Better Not Said Around The Slayer.

"Because it's fun," she replied, still smiling brilliantly. Her eyes twinkled, inviting him in on the joke, but Daniel still wasn't quite sure where she was going with this.

"Come again?" he asked, blinking.

Buffy rolled her eyes, her smile taking on a decidedly mischievous quality as she answered. "Later, dear. I'm stalking Rodney."

"Buffy..." he sputtered, realizing only afterward how his question could have been taken. Really, for a man who thought of himself as one of the top linguists in two galaxies, he seemed to be putting his foot in his mouth on an amazingly frequent basis around this woman. Not that she didn't abuse the language until it cried, herself, of course: one of the foibles he found so lovable about her.

"Seriously?" she replied, straightening her spine a little and shifting into what he thought of as her business expression. "The guy is way too wound, and the sooner I train that out of him, the better."

"And you think _stalking him_ is going to get him to relax?" Daniel couldn't help but reply, visions of being forced to pry the physicist's white-knuckled grip from the ceiling flashing through his mind.

"Oh, not right away," Buffy answered, shrugging off-handedly. "He's got to make it through the five stages of phobia first."

Daniel sighed and took a sip from the coffee mug he'd been carrying from the cafeteria to his office. She was clearly having too much fun with this-- the safest thing to do was to just play along. "I thought that was the five stages of grief?" he asked, feeding her the next line.

She rolled her eyes. "Which of us majored in psychology again?" she asked rhetorically. "It starts with obliviousness, then goes through edginess, outright paranoia, nervous collapse, and finally acceptance," she explained, acting out each named emotion as though she were playing charades.

Daniel narrowed his eyes at her, trying to keep from laughing. "You made that up," he said, accusingly.

Buffy smirked. "I totally did, but it's still true. When I'm done with him, he'll be much, much calmer on missions, and that can only be of the good."

He shook his head. "I still think you're asking for trouble, but as long as you have Sheppard's okay..." he prompted, wondering if she'd thought that far ahead.

"Don't worry! All is of the good." She flitted away from the wall long enough to duck under his coffee-cup-bearing arm, stand on tip-toe, and seal her lips to his in a sudden, enthusiastic kiss. Then she shoved him away and darted back to her corner, peering around it in an exaggeratedly stalkerish manner. "Now, shoo. I'm stalking Rodney."

Daniel chuckled to himself, then resumed his trek toward his office and left her to it.

--


	2. Cubicle Warfare, Atlantis Style

**Title**: Cubicle Warfare, Atlantis Style 

**Author**: Jedi Buttercup

**Rating**: T

**Disclaimer**: The words are mine; the worlds are not.

**Summary**: B:tVS, SG-1, Atlantis._ The prospect of more Ancient children's toys was **almost** enough to distract Daniel from what Buffy's writhing on the ceiling was doing to his libido_. 900 words.

**Spoilers**: B:tVS post-"Chosen". SG-1 and Atlantis through seasons 8/1, then AU in Atlantis.

**Notes**: A vignette in the "Ugly Black Dress" universe. Closely follows "Stalking Rodney". Challenge fic.

* * *

Daniel trudged down the hall toward his office, returning from the weekly department heads' meeting. The first few meetings after he'd arrived had been a little awkward-- Jack had made his appointment as Elizabeth's second a requirement for Sheppard to continue as Atlantis' military commander, trying to placate those who wanted more checks and balances on the Atlantis expedition without actually doing anything harmful, and a lot of the scientists without prior SGC experience had initially been wary of him. That had changed once they'd realized how much easier he was to deal with than Rodney-- unfortunately, as many of them expressed their gratitude with stacks of extra paperwork.

Luckily, Rodney had also chosen to take Daniel's appointment positively, crowing about how much more he got done now that he didn't have to supervise the "guesswork and voodoo" departments. He even ducked out of most meetings, deputizing Radek in his place. Daniel didn't blame him; there were days when he'd gladly trade the pen of authority for a P-90 and a regular place on a gate team again. Still, he was in _Atlantis_, able to study the city in depth as he hadn't any of the sites he'd visited with SG-1, and still making a positive contribution to the program that had become his life's work. He wouldn't trade this assignment for-- well, for one particular world, perhaps, but not for anything less.

He'd been a little more worried about Buffy, who still had connections with friends and family on Earth, but she'd adjusted just fine. She'd decided to treat her new team as she would have her "Scoobies", and for the most part, they'd bonded well. The only snag so far had occurred when Buffy had decided to stalk Rodney to increase his situational awareness and coolness under fire, and, in what had seemed an inexplicable move at first, Sheppard had allowed it. Rodney had been frustrated and furious for weeks, taking it out on everyone around him.

Daniel had understood the colonel's reasoning much better after Rodney had begun to retaliate, engineering a series of increasingly vicious booby traps and malfunctions that had left Buffy equally frazzled. Not only had Rodney in fact gained experience that could prove useful in the field, Buffy had learned a lot more about what Rodney was capable of when motivated, not to mention a greater appreciation for the dimensions of the city, and Sheppard hadn't had to lift a finger to accomplish it.

Speaking of traps, Daniel thought as he stepped into his office. A tail of blonde hair dangled in mid-air just above his desk, and as he looked up he could see the rest of his beautiful, deadly girlfriend attached to it; a length of strangely patterned, probably Ancient chain had been wrapped several times around her body and strung through hooks in the ceiling. Buffy's gene was as artificial as Rodney's, and Rodney still had a better grasp of how to key things to his specific control than she did; this wasn't the first time Daniel'd had to free her from one surprise or another.

"Is something wrong with the floor?" he asked her, chuckling.

She rolled her eyes and squirmed within her bindings. "Stop laughing and get me down from here."

Daniel grinned appreciatively up at her a moment longer, taking in the sight-- then blinked, perplexed, as he recognized the unusual shape of the chain's links.

"Those aren't-- _monkeys_," he said, unable to believe what he was seeing.

"As in, more fun than a barrel of?" she said, petulantly. "Yep. And the Ancients' version isn't plastic; they're strong, they can hook themselves, and they _want_ to be a chain. I can't get them to let go!"

"The Ancients had _barrels of monkeys_," he repeated again, delighted at the implications this could have for his understanding of their child-rearing practices. "Well, of course they would know what monkeys were; if we're truly the second evolution of their form, it follows that they evolved the same way we did. But that they would create the same kind of toy--"

Buffy's green eyes had gone a little flinty as he rambled, and she interrupted him sharply. "Yeah, and that's not the only thing we found," she said. "But I'm _not_ telling you where the Ancient toybox is until you get me down from here." She squirmed in her chains again for emphasis, trying futilely to reach the fastenings the terminal monkeys at each end of the chain had been attached to.

The prospect of more Ancient children's toys was _almost_ enough to distract Daniel from what her writhing on the ceiling was doing to his libido. "All right, just give me a minute," he said, focusing his mind to the task.

It still took more effort for him to work gene-activated equipment than it did Sheppard-- despite his greater experience with the Ancients, he'd only acquired the genetic marker during his second return from Ascension, and Sheppard had had it his whole life. Still, when Daniel asked, the city took notice; not even Sheppard could block him. The hooked arms at the end of each link in the chain slowly unbent, releasing their identical brethren, and let her go amid a shower of miniature mechanical primates.

Space monkeys, indeed, Daniel thought suddenly as he steadied Buffy on her feet. Jack was _never_ going to let them live this down.

--


	3. No, I See How It Is

**Title**: No, I See How It Is

**Author**: Jedi Buttercup

**Rating**: K+

**Disclaimer**: The words are mine; the worlds are not.

**Summary**: B:tVS/SG-1/SGA. _"So what do you think?" Sheppard drawled, leaning across the commissary table and giving her his best puppy-dog eyes._ 700 words.

**Spoilers**: B:tVS post-"Chosen". SG-1 and Atlantis through seasons 8/1, then AU. Minor references for SGA 2.04, "Duet".

**Notes**: For the Twistedshorts August Challenge. A vignette in the "Ugly Black Dress" universe.

* * *

"So what do you think?" Sheppard drawled, leaning across the commissary table and giving her his best puppy-dog eyes.

Buffy rolled her eyes at him. She'd faced down any number of forceful expressions over the years, including not only the practically irresistable Willow Resolve Face but also Rodney McKay's patented You-Touched-What Glare of Doom; the only reason her team leader blipped the scale at all was because of that gravity-defying hair of his. She'd swear it had a life of its own.

"Why ask? You've already made up your mind you want him," she said. She paused half a beat, then smiled sweetly, pushing her empty tray to one side and steepling her hands on the table. "On the team, that is."

He sat back a little at that, raising his eyebrows in affront; the hair did a little shimmy of its own above his brow. "Aw, c'mon. It's not like I want to kick you off; there's plenty of teams with five members back at the SGC. Maybe not Jackson's team, but..." He shrugged. "And I seriously think this guy could bring a lot to the table."

Buffy pursed her lips, tipping her chin up a little to display her disdain for that line of argument. "No, I see how it is," she said. "The girl with the superhero powers is old news; _now_ you want the guy with the supercool space gun."

Sheppard snorted, and the corners of his mouth twitched in suppressed amusement. "Well, it _is_ a pretty cool gun," he admitted, then heaved a theatrical sigh. "This is about my asking you not to spar with him earlier, isn't it?"

She turned her head to one side, giving him an uptilted profile, and raised one hand as though to inspect her manicure: a modified version of the Cordelia Cut Direct. Then she waited; he was _so_ much fun to taunt. Not as hilarious as Rodney, or as satisfying as Daniel; but still, favorably reminiscent of the early years of the Scoobies. She missed the old gang since they'd all drifted apart, but she'd more than found a new home with Daniel and her new teammates.

He groaned. "Come _on_. It's not like I was trying to protect _you_. I just didn't want you to crush his ego his first day here!"

She allowed a glance back in his direction at that, and lowered the hand, drumming her fingers on the table. It was a pain in the butt to keep her nails done a galaxy away from any beauty professionals, but it was worth it for the annoyance factor the shellacked tips could deliver. "A likely story," she sniffed.

"...What story?" the half-distracted voice of her boyfriend asked behind her; and Sheppard looked up to greet the new arrival with the same pleading expression he'd tried on her.

"Dr. Jackson!" he said, respectfully. "I was just explaining to Summers that I thought Ronon would make an excellent addition to Response Team One."

Daniel stopped in his tracks, narrowing intense blue eyes behind his glasses as he glanced from one to the other of them. "I assume you've already talked to Elizabeth?" he asked, warily.

Buffy met gazes with Sheppard for a moment; yeah, he had. Which, she assumed, was why he was petitioning _her_- so they could form a united front.

"I'll leave you to it, then," Daniel added dryly, and turned to head for Radek's table instead.

Buffy stuck her tongue out after him, then raised an eyebrow at Sheppard, daring him to tease her for it.

He smiled instead, and spread his hands in acquiescence. "Okay, you twisted my arm," he said. "He's in the training room whaling on the Marines. Just don't break him, okay?"

"I haven't broken the rest of you yet, have I?" she said lightly, grinning her appreciation as she popped up from the table.

"Not for lack of trying," Sheppard drawled. "Though I have to say, the thing with the monkeys? McKay's getting pretty damned creative with his comebacks."

"I know," Buffy smirked. "How long do you think it'll take the new guy to learn?"

"Heaven help us," Sheppard chuckled. Then he waved her off. "Shoo. Go have fun."

-x-


End file.
